Castle

A fortified exterior is rarely
if ever
subject of a breach attempt

despite the lonely maiden
sighing atop its battlements.

With such obvious strength
foes only cast stray arrows to taunt,
and friends never even think about bolstering your walls.
Instead, merely offering a quick buffed shine during occasions of dullness.

So all cracks are sealed
and patched
slowly, in solitude
from the inside out
with raw knuckles and grimaces.

Culture and Expectation

I tried.
And tried, and tried...

to control and vanquish my emotions.
to force your head and hands to heal.
to bury secret yearnings.

to settle like the dust.

I denied my desires
and gave up to guilt.
I held steady through
stagnation.

I convinced myself of
believed in
and held onto

bullshit excuses.

I reached out for a fairytale
like all gullible princesses
while pretending I wore no tiara.

After years of silencing instinct
intuition reveals
the elaborate lie
I tried and tried
and failed to live.

In Summary

At best,

it was like the last swig

of lukewarm coffee.

Perseverance (The Journey out of Conflict)

The paths that evade regret
are long,
winding
and constantly circling back on themselves.

The improvised map is creased with sweat,
blood stained
and useless.

The days are dim,
the night is black,
and rolling fogs of uncertainty cloud all guiding landmarks.

Each fork in the road becomes a fearful choice

between stumbling tear-blind
into confrontational thorns,

or panicked evasive sprinting
amongst dagger-laced booby-traps.

The bitter taste of fairy tale endings
lingering toxic on sneering lips

and stinging papercut reminders
of how much is yet to heal.

It is surely a more manageable jaunt
wearing the iron cloak of contempt
and the lead boots of resentment

but they become a trap not easily fled from.

So on and on,
round the dizzying curves and doublebacks of denial,
chasing the distant luring glow of liberation
that always turns out to be

headlights before the trainwreck.

For beyond each new horizon
that torments with whispers
of an exquisite renaissance

lies just
another
nightmare.